Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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