Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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