My room smells like vodka and shame
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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