I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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