i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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