The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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