Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize