what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
