just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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