So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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