drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize