I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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