you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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