if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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