you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
