that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
