So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
