He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
