i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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