My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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