I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize