What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
