just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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