shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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