i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
