College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am naked and annoyed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
