We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
