i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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