her vagine was all disorganized.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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