No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
