I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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