Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
