yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
