Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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(631): View more from New York

we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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(443): View more from Maryland

the ceiling is raining jello shotss

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(541): View more from Oregon

It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

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(716): View more from New York

I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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(817): View more from Texas

Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me

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