Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!