she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.