I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE