Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?

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  (440): Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it? (1-440): because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even? http://tfl.nu/6ni1
  Replies (20) Good night (5351) Bad night (540)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?

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  (860): Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims? http://tfl.nu/jffq
  Replies (45) Good night (4072) Bad night (963)
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  (760): View more from California

  she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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  (760): she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door. http://tfl.nu/tltu
  Replies (24) Good night (1806) Bad night (4145)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
  Replies (8) Good night (1363) Bad night (6877)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6910) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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  (510): stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work http://tfl.nu/9l6e
  Replies (20) Good night (7297) Bad night (1566)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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  (907): She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex http://tfl.nu/o751
  Replies (18) Good night (4013) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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  (703): i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. http://tfl.nu/7io7
  Replies (12) Good night (773) Bad night (4184)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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  (317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz
  Replies (22) Good night (1748) Bad night (4600)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.

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  (561): He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant. http://tfl.nu/xyax
  Replies (8) Good night (2685) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

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  (512): I actually had fun getting arrested. That high. http://tfl.nu/ixl1
  Replies (6) Good night (3109) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life

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  (603): Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life http://tfl.nu/vchk
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.

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  (513): Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me. http://tfl.nu/5lbu
  Replies (5) Good night (1166) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.

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  (404): Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse? (770): All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead. http://tfl.nu/buwi
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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  (415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl
  Replies (9) Good night (707) Bad night (184)

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