College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dick very happy bro
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
