There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
