Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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