...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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