I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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