You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
