it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
