This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize