She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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