dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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