I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
