well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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