I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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