She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He felt like a one man threesome
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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