he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
