I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
