I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize