That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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