Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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