and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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