Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
