there were more penises there than on chat roulette
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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