if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
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i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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