Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(714): View more from California

Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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(205): View more from Alabama

i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP

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(646): View more from New York

Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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(773): View more from Illinois

WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.

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(765): View more from Indiana

This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.

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(330): View more from Ohio

AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???

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