3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
